..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
