hotel room ftw
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I did not marry a roomba.
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