Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
