i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
