you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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