Little spoons don't ask big questions
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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