u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Randomize
