I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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