found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
