so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
