I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
