You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
