I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
