just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I touched a dick in church today
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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