he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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