i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
