Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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