Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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