no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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