my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Say something about gay babies.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
