How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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