Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
