She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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