I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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