I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
