did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My nipple is on Facebook.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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