dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
