after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
whose parrot is this?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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