he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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