Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
