i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
