Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize