fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
