Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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