Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize