Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
