big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
