I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
