Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
