I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I want to have your abortion
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
