and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
