Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
