You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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