She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize