; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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