Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
