Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
