i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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