I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
