Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
