So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
