it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
