i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
