WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
