Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
