No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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