watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
