I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
