Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
