i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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