Your tits are I can't wait for
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
