I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
