Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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